Mnemophobia
by OceanLover4712
Summary: Mnemophobia, Noun, The fear of memories; remembering; loss of memories. Nico's scared, of both remembering and forgetting. So when he's forced to confront his past in a way he couldn't have thought up in some of his worst nightmares, he nearly breaks. No, he's not scared. He's absolutely terrified.
1. Preface

_Mnemophobia_

_Noun_

_The fear of memories; remembering; the loss of memories_

He didn't know what to think at first. Whether he should be screaming and crying in joy, or just screaming and crying. So he just stood there and numbly let the memory wash over him. The first time it happened was on the _Argo II, _not moments after Percy and Annabeth fell into Tar- _that place_. His mother's calming voice. Her warm hand on his head. _It's alright mio caro, it'll get better. _He was sick in bed, not even 5 years old. Bianca was to his left looking worried. The sky outside was dark. And then he blinked, and the memory was gone.

He liked to think he imagined it, that it was nothing but his mind trying to comfort it's self, making stuff up. He knew it couldn't be a real memory, those were washed away in the Lethe. Gone. Yet, a small part of him hoped that maybe, _maybe _that wasn't entirely true. But, he had no reason to believe he could ever get them back, that the memory was real. The Lethe is a powerful river, strong enough to wipe the mind of a Titan. There was no getting his memories back. At least that's what he thought.

It happened a couple more times over the course of the journey, memories of his mother, Bianca, and the struggles of growing up in Italy during WWII. The memories weren't like Hazel's flashbacks, or like a dream. They were simply memories, something he just suddenly remembered. Slightly more vivid and over in the space of a few seconds, but they were just memories. Each time he pushed it back, dismissed it has nothing but his imagination. They couldn't possibly be real. But it kept nagging at him, always on the edge of his mind. The more it happened the more he thought that _maybe _his memories weren't as far gone as he originally thought. And with this realization, this crazy and hopeless thought, many emotions arose in him. Hope, excitement, and maybe just a tad of happiness.

But they all left soon after, he knew after all, that it was impossible. But one emotion stayed with him, pressing down on him like a weight. Unlike the others, it was always there. When he thought that he could very well be getting his memories back, it was there, like a hot spike being driven into his very soul. When he dismissed the idea he was relieved from the pressure, but only for a second. It would come again just as quick as it left, like a snake going in for a second strike. That all changed when they got Percy and Annabeth back.

He knew they would get out of there, survive. But it was still a relief to see them standing. But when the opportunity to leave arose, he immediately took it. Even if it did mean lugging a giant statue and two other people halfway across the world. Before he could leave though, they pulled him aside. Thanked him, saying that without Bob, they would've died. They told him how Bob rescued them, healed them. How he got his memories back, and for a second they were terrified, but he stayed good. And in the end, he sacrificed himself for them. They teared up and were openly crying at the end. Yes, he was sad at the loss of another friend. He had many great talks with Bob in the Underworld. But that wasn't what struck him most, what sent shivers down his spine. No, it was the fact that Bob got his memories back.

_Got His Memories Back_

The thought made his skin tingle with the possibility. Getting your memories back. Something he previously thought impossible. But the unnamed emotion was back twisting a knife into his gut. He didn't know what to do.

The thought never left him, each new memory only reinforcing his theory. Once, he thought about telling Reyna, ask what she thought. But he didn't because it was something he wasn't sure about himself. So far he'd only had a total of 5 memories, if you would call them that. So he wasn't sure about anything. The weight never left either.

The war was hard, many died. But it wasn't as bad as it could've been. The Greeks and Romans were united, Gaea was gone, and there was finally peace. But that wasn't necessarily a good thing. After his infirmary stay, he had plenty of free time. And that meant thinking, about camp, life, his memories, Will. It was one day while lying in bed that he came to a conclusion. Named the nameless emotion. Came to a frightening truth. He realized that the emotion he'd been feeling all this while, was in fact, fear.

He was scared of both remembering and forgetting. A destructive mix. He was scared of his memories, but at the same time, he was scared of not finding out what his past held.

No, Nico di Angelo wasn't scared. He was absolutely terrified.

** Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, sad.**

**I'll hopefully update soon. And I hate unfinished stories, so I'm not going to abandon this. Please Review! Bye!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer - If you recognize it, it's not mine.**

** Okay, so this takes place before Hidden Oracle. But, for the sake of the story, Leo is already back. I always like to stick as close to canon as I can get, so all cannon ships.**

**Please follow and favorite! I'll answer the reviews when I have at least five. Enjoy the story! BTW it's Nico's POV right now, but it will change later on in the story.**

"Come on Nico! Please!"

I crossed my arms and glared at the son of Jupiter, "What part of 'No' don't you understand."

"Come on, just one game!" Jason smirked, "Or, are you scared that I'm gonna beat you."

"In your dreams, Grace." I glared at him in silent challenge, "Deal out the cards."

Jason jumped up, "Yes!"

Percy laughed from his place on the chair behind me, "You don't know what you just got your self into, do you?"

"It's just a card game, right?" Jason asked spectically.

I laughed with no trace of humor in my voice, "Just a card game, Grace. See what happens when you lose, and then tell me this is just a card game." Will struck a dramatic chord on the guitar he was tuning to add to the effect. Jason actually looked scared for a second, until Percy burst out laughing with Jason soon joining in.

"Don't get too happy, Jackson. I'm still mad at you for telling them." I said while glaring at the son of Poseidon.

Percy took advantage of the situation, "Oh, did Mr. Dark-and-Gloomy not want people to know that under all that darkness he's a secret Mythomagic fan?" he teased.

"I think it's kinda cute," Hazel spoke up from her place on one of the bunks. I rested my head on one of my hands.

"I'm not cute," I muttered under my breath.

Will looked up from his guitar and smirked, "I agree with Hazel." I shifted my gaze to him and glared, but he just smiled back. Letting out an annoyed sigh, I adjusted my position on the floor.

"Are we gonna play or not?" I asked turning to Jason.

"Oh, yeah!" He said and hurried to set up the game board and deal out the cards. I took the moment to look around the room. We were in Cabin 3, a place I normally wouldn't set foot in, but Hazel and Frank were visiting from Camp Jupiter. They all agreed to meet here to hang out and catch up. It's been little over a month since the end of the war and things were finally calming down; Leo was back, with a girlfriend at that, and order has been restored at both camps. A little visit was long overdue.

Piper and Hazel were sitting on one of the bunks with Calypso talking about something or another, while Percy was on a chair with Annabeth sitting on the floor below him. Leo was sitting on another bunk with a bag of marshmallows seeing how many he could fit in his mouth, Frank was watching intently from across the room. Jason was a few feet in front of me setting up the game board. And Will was on a beanbag chair tuning a guitar while biting his lip in concentration. I wasn't exactly sure when Will became part of "the group" but I wasn't complaining, he fit right in.

The only way it could get any better is if Reyna was here, but you can't have both praetors gone from Camp Jupiter. I would have to go visit her soon, I mentally noted. With this group, I finally felt at home. Even my fears were gone for a while, I even thought about telling them about my memories, but figured that it didn't really matter, I wasn't even sure if they were memories and didn't want to burden them. I forced myself to redirect my thoughts, I don't want to think about that right now. Instead, I looked at Jason, to see if he was done yet. He finished straightening the board and met my gaze.

"Ready to lose, Grace?"

* * *

Pretty soon everyone was watching the game intently. We'd been playing for nearly 15 minutes and the game was intense. And it seemed that by some crazy good luck, Jason was in the lead. My eyes scanned the game board looking for possible plays I could make, but it seemed like Jason had me trapped. I dragged a hand through my hair and let out a stressed sigh.

"Give up yet, di Angelo?"

I glared at him, _"Never."_

I scanned the board, but since I couldn't play anything, I drew a card hoping to get something good. I glanced down at what I got, and had to use all my will power to keep my face impassive. Somehow, I drew the exact card I needed to win the game. The card that would allow me to turn the tables.

Jason smirked and played a hero card, efficiently defeating one of my last monster cards. He smirked in victory.

"Your turn," he said smugly.

"Fine" I answered, "I play. Postverta, goddess of the past. The game is reset three rounds, all the characters you've played since then are discarded," I smirked. "But I get all mine back."

I watched in amusement as Jason opened and closed his mouth several times before speaking, "Is that even allowed?"

"Yes Jason," I smiled in triumph "Yes it is."

He groaned as he set the board as it was there rounds ago and discarded all his cards currently in play, while I put mine back in my hand. "Ready to admit defeat, Grace?" I teased.

He glared at me, "I'll still win."

"Sure you will." I sarcastically drawled.

"Just face it, Jason," Percy patted him on turn shoulder. "You're doomed."

Jason huffed, "Just you wait and s-"

He was interrupted by a golden flash. Once I blinked the light out of my eyes I looked around the cabin, it looked normal. I glanced at the others, they were fine albeit slightly disoriented. Then, my gaze landed on the far left corner. A goddess-because who else would appear in a golden flash?- stood there. Her eyes where a shattered grey and she had long black hair going down her back. I stood up and crossed my arms, fixing her with a glare.

"Who are you, and what do you want?"

She smiled, "Don't worry demigods, I simply want payment."

Piper raised an eyebrow, "Payment?"

"Yes, payment, nothing more, nothing less. " She turned to me. "And, to answer your first question. I am Postverta, goddess of the past and one of the two Carmentes."

We stood there a few seconds not sure what to do before Leo spoke up. "What exactly are we paying for?"

She huffed and crossed her arms, "You used me to win something, that requires payment."

I blinked at her a second before realizing what she was talking about, "You mean the Mythomagic card?"

She scrunched up her nose as if she smelled something bad, "Yes, that!"

I stared at her in disbelief, "But, it's just a game!"

She glared at me a second before her eyes softened, "You interest me, son of Hades, afraid of both remembering and forgetting." She laughed "How delightful!"

Percy stepped in front of me, "Look, lady, you can take your payment in drachmas or denarii, or whatever currency you take." He glared at her "But we're not going on some stupid quest or something because you're mad about a Mythomagic game."

She smirked, "I'm afraid that's not your choice to make, son of Poseidon." Then she clapped her hands, and we were enveloped in golden light.


End file.
